So Much to Plunder That I Think I'll Sleep Instead

I was worried that I wasn't doing anything with my life. So I quit my job. Now, instead of getting paid to waste away the day surreptitiously and compulsively checking all my favorite websites, I waste away the day blatantly and compulsively checking all my favorite websites. I also watch movies. Lots of movies. Did you know that 10 Things I Hate About You is available in its entirety on youtube? So is Cruel Intentions. Revenge of the Nerds, strangely enough, though, is not.

A total lack of direction is nothing new to me. It's the whole addressing that problem head on that is new to me. As the end of sophomore year in college approached, I knew I would have to declare a major in order to register for the next year of classes. Faced with the challenge of actually having to make some sort of decision about my future (or at least the next two years of my future) I did what any spoiled, young walking-stereotype of our underachieving generation would do and applied to transfer to a college that didn't make such outrageous demands of its students. Two years later I graduated without a major from a school that allows students to "concentrate" in an area or areas of study. Or not. Whatever the student wants to do, or in my case, wants not to do.

I moved to Brooklyn and got a job at a small photography agency for a year and a half. And then one morning I woke up and realized that if I didn't start trying to figure out what I want to spend my working life doing I might have to find some corporate lawyer to marry for money and status. And while I love the idea of lots of money (and illicit affairs with pool boys on the side) I just don't have the energy or high tolerance for alcohol to maintain the kind of physical perfection and emotional numbness that such a marriage would require. These days it's hard enough to muster up the motivation to shave my legs, let alone brush my teeth. Are there any wealthy guys out there interested in a marriage of convenience to a couch potato with bad breath? I didn't think so. In that case, I'm left with no other option but to search for direction and maybe even a career path that I will love.

But first, a nap.